Divorce is the second most stressful life event after the death of a spouse. If our spouse died, there would be a funeral - a way of celebrating and honouring their life at the same time as providing a series of ritualised elements for the bereaved to express their sorrow and grief, and then to begin to move on without their loved one in their life.
Divorce too, is, in its way, a kind of death. The death of a marriage, the death of a love that we vowed would last a lifetime, the death of the future we had planned. It is a kind of bereavement; a huge loss. And yet culturally we let the occasion pass. We get a cold email in our inbox telling us that our marriage has been dissolved, that our Decree Absolute is attached. Depending on the circumstances of our divorce, we might cry, whoop for joy, barely register the news.
But where is the remembering of what at times was probably a fulfilling relationship? Where is the public honouring of the feelings of loss and grief that each partner goes through? Where is the threshold between our old life as part of a couple, and our new life as single?
At the end of each year, we say goodbye to what has gone before, we make new year resolutions, we celebrate the coming year with parties, songs and fireworks
Wouldn’t it be fitting to go through a ceremony of healing rituals to honour, grieve and ultimately let go of the love we are leaving behind? To bring something new out of the ashes, and alchemise the hurt and pain into something precious. To move forward into our new life with resolve and purpose. To go out with a bang.
As well as being a Coach, I am a Celebrant*, and can help you create a unique and bespoke ceremony full of meaning and soul, to honour what has gone before and draw a line under the sand, allowing you to move forward, unshackled.
It’s about being intentional about the end of your relationship, rather than letting the occasion pass and stumbling into your new life as a single person. It gives you a sense of occasion for a significant life event that is often overlooked. It’s about choosing to do the ending of your relationship better. It’s about closure.
Your divorce ceremony will allow you to let go of the pain and welcome in the new chapter of your life. This ceremony will be exactly as you want it to be. It could be just you alone or you could invite friends and family. If your split is amicable, you could even UNmarry your ex partner and release each other from the promises you made.
A small gathering at your house of your closest friends. Each one writes you a ‘new life vow’ of how they will support you going forward, or gives you a small gift that symbolises what you mean to them. They may also take away your wedding dress to a charity shop.
You and your ex partner meet and symbolically remove the wedding ring from each others’ finger. You might then decide to make a speech thanking each other for the love you once shared, and wishing them well on their future path.
You might dedicate an evening alone, preparing a special candlelit meal for yourself, and saying out loud the promises that you make to yourself from now on. You might write a list of all the feelings you have gone through around your break up, and then burn that list, blowing out the candle to symbolise your letting go.
*what is a celebrant -
As a certified celebrant I can perform and officiate ceremonies such as weddings, commitment ceremonies, vow renewals, baby naming, gender transition to name but a few.
Working with you to create beautiful, meaningful ceremonies that reflect your own unique story, because there is no one else quite like you.
Personal, intimate and moving ceremonies created just for you from £150.